Is it wrong to have desire for things?

Dear Sensei Tony: Is it wrong to desire things? This is Mary.

Hi Mary. What a splendid question! This is a confusing topic for Buddhists, especially when they hear things like, “Have no desire or expectations.”  But this is often the very reason we take up the Dharma! We rightly desire to be free from suffering and expect to experience awakening. Now, some might say that we should only desire the correct things, such as enlightenment. But how do we know whether something we desire is correct? How do we know that desiring the wrong things won’t actually lead to enlightenment? After all, isn’t realizing our delusion part of the awakening process?

I believe that a primary part of the process of becoming spiritual individuated, or whole, is to bring the unconscious energies into an awakened consciousness. We do this so that we are not ruled by them, but rather, learn how to honor and harmonize with them.

I believe that it is better to acknowledge the desires of our Ego Self and then enfold them into the entrusting of our True Self. Otherwise, those desires can become repressed; they won’t go away but just cause more suffering. In my late aunt’s Buddhist tradition, Nicherin Shu, they chant, “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo”. This means to take refuge in the mindful teachings of the Lotus sutra, but she saw it also as a good practice to honor our personal intentions while trusting in the mystical way of the universe. I personally use it sometimes in her honor and for that specific meaning.

Ultimately, it is not our desire that is wrong, but the expectation of what the fulfillment of that desire can bring. Once we realize that true fulfillment comes from within, we will discover that our needs and wants can be experienced through a life of simplicity.

I hope you found this useful.